Well thats the question that people ask when I share my exciting news! If no one asks I am pretty sure thats what everyone is thinking. I get it, I think the same thing when people have twins. I just never really expected people I'm not very close with ask me such personal questions like "was it natural?" I tell people the truth because I think it is important for other people to be aware of how common fertility problems are. I have been very hesitant about sharing our battle with infertility, but I have decided it might help someone else along their journey. I think the reason I have been so hesitant is because I didn't know how deep to go on such a personal subject. So, I have decided just to write and see where I end up!
In April of 2011 after a year of being married, I went to my annual gyno appointment. I told my Dr. that Billy and I were talking about starting a family and we would want to start trying in August. I had some concern about my ability to get pregnant since I had a history of irregular cycles. He assured me that there was medicine for that and it shouldn't be a big deal. He also told me that my chances of getting pregnant without medication were very slim, so Billy and I decided to stop using birth control. Since we were no longer using birth control I became an avid pregnancy test taker! Every time we were "going out" I had to take one just to make sure I wasn't pregnant. Sure enough they were all negative.
August rolls around so I make my doctors appointment. He told me that I wasn't ovulating so he was going to put me on this medication to trick my body into ovulating. Clomid is the name of the medication that he put me on, the most commonly prescribed oral infertility medication. I was to take the medication for several days, use ovulation predictor kits then go in for for blood work to see if the medication worked. Well my body did not like Clomid! I had some very unpleasant side effects from it. Mood swings and hot flashes were two that I remember very vividly! Poor Billy. I responded one time in four rounds. After this my OBGYN decided to it was time to send me to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE).
January 2012, I had my first appointment with my RE. At this point we were keeping everything a secret and since Billy works for his dad he did not come to my appointment with me. This was a horrible decision that we had made. I needed his support for what I was about to find out. At this appointment I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I was given so much information and told that I was at high risk for Type II diabetes, uterine cancer and the list went on. There are a lot of nasty symptoms for this syndrome and all you need is 3 to be diagnosed... my 3 were acne, irregular periods and polycystic appearing ovaries (they confirmed that with a sonogram). My doctor wanted to try one more round of clomid (he put me on the highest dose) but he wanted to pair it with Metformin (a drug used by diabetic patients, I was told it just helps the clomid work better) and estrodial (an estrogen tablet). With this treatment I went in for a sonogram to look at my ovaries to see if I was producing eggs instead of he blood work. Well, that round of treatment was probably the worst throughout the whole process. I was completely unable to control my emotions. I remember coming home from work, crawling in bed and crying for hours. Billy came home and I couldn't even look at him with out crying. That round also ended in disappointment.
After six months of unsuccessful fertility treatment I decided I need to take some time off. I did research on PCOS and I had a hard time understanding it. I decided to stay on the Metformin because I had read that some women were able to get pregnant on that alone (looking back that was probably true for women who had a significant amount of insulin resistance). There is a lot of research out there, but there is also a lot that is unknown. They say its hereditary, but I have no family history of anyone with diabetes or symptoms of PCOS. I found several diets to try, so I tried a few. One was a low amylose diet. Amylose is found in pretty much everything except MOST fruits and veggies, meat and beans. The diet restricted bananas, root vegetables and corn. During the 2nd week of this diet I found myself slurring my words and stuttering (something I don't normally do). I once again did a little research and found that low carb diets can effect the nervous system. So... I stopped that diet, and stuck to a healthy diet and avoided simple carbs. I pretty much started eating like a diabetic.
April rolled around again and I went to my annual appointment agian. When my OBGYN came in the room he said he thought I would be pregnant by now! I explained to him what I had been doing. He told me that I needed to go back to the RE because if I wanted to get pregnant I needed his help. A week later I went back to my RE with Billy to discuss the next step. We discussed all of our options. Billy and I decided we wanted to take it one step at a time, the more invasive the treatment the more expensive. I started another oral medication Letrozol. This medication is not a fertility medication, it is actually a medication used in post menopausal women with breast cancer. CRAZY I know! Women who do not respond to Clomid sometimes respond better to Letrozol. As it turned out my body really responded to Letrozol! This medication was monitored just like the clomid. I was on this medication for 4 months with no success before we decided we needed to take the next step, starting IUI's (intrauterine insemination). Since I was responding so well with the Letrozol I stayed on that and we started doing IUI's. One thing we had to do before starting the IUI's was a procedure called a Hysterosalpingogram or HSG for short. This is a scan where they check to make sure the fallopian tubes are not blocked. They can also make sure your uterus is a normal size and shape. Everything with the HSG turned out fine (except for how painful it was) so we were ready to move on.
At this point I was starting to get desperate! I was willing to do anything if it had helped someone else. I looked into Chiropractic medicine and oriental medicine. I loved the chiropractic part and loved my doctor. I went in to get treatment from her about every two weeks for several months. I went to a Chinese medicine doctor and thought I was just getting acupuncture. Well I went twice. My first appointment was a little weird and awkward, but luckily one of my best friends is studying chinese medicine in California so after my appointment all I had to do was call her and she could answer my questions. I went back to my second appointment and I left feeling violated. First of all the doctor (who could barely speak english) and I were they only ones in the office. He had me put on a paper gown and undress leaving only my underwear on. I had to lay on a bed (practically naked) that he did not clean after the last patient and there was no paper on it. I laid on the table very uncomfortable, he started off by using some of the same techniques he used the time before. He then gets this cigar looking thing and lights it on fire (I now know this is called moxibustion and what is wrapped in the cigar looking thing was herbs). He starts going over my stomach and kept getting lower and lower way more than I was comfortable with. It was hot and he burned me a few times. The whole time I was staring at the clock waiting for him to be done. I was going over scenarios in my head about how I could get up and leave. Finally he was done... or so I thought! He then got the needles and started the acupuncture. He put the needles in my stomach then started to moxibustion on my lower legs close to my ankles. Let me tell you... this part burned! so much so that I would jerk my leg away so he would get the hint. He didn't and kept going until I said OUCH! He rolled his chair right up to me and told me I just needed to get through the pain then rolled his chair right back and continued burning the crap out of me. Finally it was over!! I could not have gotten out of that place fast enough! When I got in my car I had to check out my ankles and sure enough I had huge blisters, one significantly worse than the other. I immediately called my friend Kristin to ask her if she had any idea about what just happened to me. She explained and pretty much told me that what he did was not okay and that he should have gone over what the risks were with me before he did anything like that. I never went back (obviously), I should have known what I was getting myself into when I signed away my rights to an attorney or jury before I saw him. Hey, you live and you learn! Oh and those burns... they took 8 weeks to heal and now I am left with some awesome scars on my legs!
Anyways, it was four unsuccessful IUI's later that it was time for the next step. My Dr. told us we really had two options. I could do an elective exploratory surgery (not his recommendation) or move forward with IVF (in-vitro fertilization). He said IVF would be the safest route for us and he was very confident we would be successful with it. If we chose to do the surgery he would be looking for scar tissue or polyps in my uterus and fallopian tubes. If he found anything he would remove them and we would start over. There was a good we could end up right back where we were. There was also a good chance that he wouldn't find anything and we would have just spent all that extra money and I would have had surgery for no reason. At this point I was done messing around. Emotionally and physically I was done! I could not even think about starting over. Billy and I's relationship had been through enough. All I wanted was this chapter in our lives to be over. I could not handle anymore disappointment. It was so clear to me that IVF was our next step. Might I add that throughout all of the infertility treatments I was SO sure that WE would not need IVF.
Everything during the IVF process could not have gone more smooth. From getting our financing to the results of my scans and blood work. Everything was so easy and for the first time in a year in a half EVERYTHING we heard back from the doctor was positive. I was so used to hearing bad news that I was just waiting for something to go wrong. I responded great to all of my medication, I made LOTS of eggs and all my hormone levels were perfect! On the day of my embryo transfer I even had 3 eggs that were starting to hatch (come out of their outer layer to implant into the uterus) this was a REALLY good sign. Billy and I chose to implant two embryos since our chance of conceiving was higher. We really did not even think twice about it. December 20th was my appointment for my blood pregnancy test. It was supposed to be my last day of school for the semester, but we had a snow day! The roads were HORRIBLE, but I was not going to miss my appointment. I was very lucky because I ended up sliding through 2 red lights on my way. I had not taken a home pregnancy test for a good 6 months because I could not bring myself to look at another negative one. I am pretty sure I yelled at the last one I took to turn positive. So I went in to the doctor for my pregnancy test (this is something I had been doing every month throughout my time with my RE). THe staff could not believe I hadn't taken a home test. They asked how I was feeling and I told them that my boobs hurt, I was crampy and moody! I got home and was unsure of how long it would be before they called me with my results. I was nervous and could tell my blood pressure was high. I could not relax! Luckily they called with in 30 minutes of getting home. When I answered my phone, it was the same nurse that had called me every month previously to tell me my test was negative. There was a difference in her voice this time I knew from the moment she said my name! My test was POSITIVE!!!!! I immediately started crying and went to the kitchen with Billy! My HCG level at 4 weeks was in the upper 300's and it ranges from I think like 5 to the low 400's so that was great! After I got off the phone with the nurse Billy and I laid in our bed just trying to soak it in. I was a mess and could not stop crying. We called our mom's and sisters right away! My mom and sister both starting crying with me. It was so surreal! I went in two days later to make sure my levels were doubling and they were! It was the greatest Christmas present God could have given us after such a rough year!
On January 8th at 6 1/2 weeks we went in for our first sonogram. The first thing to pop up on the screen was TWO sacs! We were having TWINS! Of course I started crying, I looked at Billy, he had no expression on his face. Apparently he was in shock! Both babies had heartbeats (which was amazing to hear) and they were measuring right track! Billy and I went to eat at Chipotle afterwards. It was such a weird lunch we were both trying to process the fact that there were 2 babies inside me! We went back 2 weeks later for our final appointment with my RE and the babies both had really strong heart beats and were still measuring right on track! Since it was my "graduation" day it was was kind of bitter sweet. I had been going to that office several times a month for the last year. They gave me a gift bag and it had 2 onesies with their logo on it. I did shed a few tears when they showed me the onesies! On my way out I exchanged hugs and tears with my nurses and even my embryologist. It was such a nice way to leave.
My first OB appointment was at about 9 1/2 weeks. I was really anxious for this appointment because I had a lot of questions and wanted to have an idea of what the next several months would look like. The babies were still looking great! I knew that twin pregnancies were considered high risk, but I guess it never sunk in until this appointment. I was not expecting to hear what the doctor had to say. He told me that a lot of what he was going to ask me to do would sound unreasonable, but he just wants to make sure he is doing everything he can to keep the babies inside me as long as possible. He told me that the goal was to get to 38 weeks, but on average twins come at 36 weeks and that was average some come before then and some come after. He also told me that he was going to restrict my activity at 24 weeks no running errands and no going grocery shopping!! That means I have a lot to get done in the next 10 1/2 weeks!
Here are a few pictures...
First sonogram at 6 1/2 Weeks
Baby #1 at 9 1/2 Weeks
Baby #2 at 9 1/2 weeks- This little one kept moving his arm around! So cute!
13 week belly pic. Babies are the size of peaches!
